3lbs Away from a Heart Attack!

I'm three pounds away from a heart attack!

By now you've probably learned that I'm dramatic but that's OK. Sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't.

The last two weeks have been hard. My schedule at work drastically changed, my social life picked up, my relationship went sour and as a result, I started drinking more. I found comfort in the bottle, which isn't hard to do when they're 2-4-1!

Malibu and Pineapple, please?

I knew what I was doing when I skipped the gym the first time, but it didn't stop me from flirting with failure. Instead of losing weight during 30-DT, I gained two pounds! Seeing those three digits rise was like going back in time. I realized then that I have absolutely no discipline.

I'm not giving up!!!

With every ounce of liquor I consumed, I told myself I would work it off. I hate diets as much as I hate grown men who still wear braids and beads, but I need the structure.





First, it was J-HUD.

Then it was Jordin Sparks and NOW even Raven-Symone has taken off the weight.

I listened to all of their post-weight loss interviews and the common factor was love. They each loved themselves enough to take a few steps back from the table.

*PUSHES CHIPS IN*

I don't have much but I'm going to give it all I have. My biggest fear is not discipline, it's having to poke myself every day to check my sugar. They can't be me. I cannot become that girl. Every time I feel tired in the back of my mind I'm wondering if it's diabetes.

I'm better than this weight. So I've decided not to give up on this challenge until I concur the pounds. I'm going to lay down my cheesecake down by the riverside and study gluttony no more!

I DID IT!

I joined Weight Watchers. I'm officially on a diet but this time I'm not alone. My good friend Vironica has decided to join me. I'm happy to have her on the team even though she's in Ohio. (Operation: J-HUD)

Please don't give up on me now. I need your prayers and support now more than ever.

Keep me lifted.

J-hud and that damn commercial!

I stepped on the scale.

I hopped off the scale.

I eased back on the scale.

Tears began to rise and my levees started to crack.

Three weeks after the launch of 30-DT and still no change. Two whole pounds disappeared during the first week of the challenge. I thought I could keep it up but my body grew weary. I underestimated the toll that working out 5 days a week would take on my body.

Tired.

I took a few days off, steering clear of the gym, occasionally doing a few workouts on my like-new yoga mat. This was the first time I'd pulled it out in 365 days. I hate yoga but it was on sale. ;)

I tried but some days I just couldn't find the motivation and gentle nudges from friends seemed to have a countereffect.

My sofa. My leather, plum, pillar of comfort welcomed me home every day, holding me hostage from the hostile world. Outside my window I hear the birds chirping on my abandoned patio. I wonder what it would be like to sit outside and bask in the sun's generosity. Working out 5 times a week suddenly diminished to two, sometimes three, good workouts.

Feeling better, lighter and toned, I continued to watch what rolled off my fingers and into my mouth. I often indulge in a smoothie a day or a handful on trail mix convinced that they are healthier choices, but when offered free food, I fail. Just last week I went toe-to-toe with Easter dinner and a long overdue mojito but the kryptonite was none other than a bowl of homemade banana pudding. How could I resist the one thing in the world that never failed to get me wet? I couldn't deny the mouth-watering, creamy vanilla pudding, fresh bananas and crisp vanilla wafers. I gave in. I lost control. My plan was to savor it and stretch it out over a few days but I could not rest knowing it was sitting in the next room. Within minutes, I devoured the entire bowl. Game Over.

No.

Wait!

I can't give up on myself now.


I'm learning that my physical health is more than just cardio and weights. It's almost about mental and emotional health but that's another post...

I still have 10 good days I can give this thing and that's better than giving up. As I stepped off the scale and depression rushed through my veins, the first thing I thought about was all the support I'd received from friends and followers. I felt like I'd let them down but then I reminded myself that I'm doing this for me and that's all the matters.